HELP! On Rewriting Blurbs
So I’ve recently been examining why my Facebook comedy novel ‘The Grand Adventures of Madeline Cain’ isn’t selling like a newly released Stephen King novel on speed. Apart from a) it not being a horror novel and b) King having an 25 years extra experience on me, I realised it’s been about twelve months since I revisited my book’s description and cover.
When I looked back on them I wasn’t as enchanted as I was when I created them last year. They were passable but I could do better! Plus, I wanted to revamp the first book in the series before I brought out the second in the next two months. So I’ve engaged my cover designer Kit Foster to redo the cover of ‘The Grand Adventures of Madeline Cain’ and the cover for the second book in the series (title to be determined!), and set myself to re-creating a more exciting blurb.
This is where you come in. I need your help in picking a new blurb! Which one do you like best below? Or do you prefer the original?Please vote at the bottom of the post for the blurb that would make you want to grab a copy of the book. If you could let me know why you like a particular one better in the comments too, I would be truly grateful.
The book is aimed at a YA/New Adult audience.
I’ll be asking for votes on the blurb and title for the second book in the series at the end of the week, so keep an eye out! And thank you to everyone for lending me your opinions!
“I don’t limit myself in the how-to-embarrass-yourself-lottery.”
Madeline has achieved her dream, acceptance into a world famous photography college in New York. Like many people of her generation who travel, she turns to Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends. But her move from the sleepy Australian town of Adelaide doesn’t exactly turn out as she expects. From her first meeting with her chain smoking house mate and his superhero Mexican Chameleon, Duncan (who can dash across rooms in the a blink of eye), she knew she was in for an interesting time. Add an umbrella rigged by her brother to yell abuse at pedestrians when it rains, pizza deliveries to porn sets, FBI questioning for supposed ‘spy photography’, and accidentally blackmailing a famous model cheating, and things move from the interesting to the ridiculous.
In a world of status updates and blogs, where anyone who ‘friends’ you can follow your every move, how the hell is Madeline supposed to get out of the hole she’s created?
OPTION #1: NEW BLURB
Madeline Cain has made it! A one year adventure in New York City and acceptance into a world famous photography school in Greenwich Village. What else could await an Australian in the big city but glamour, fun and kickass photographic opportunities? All she needs is Facebook to brag about her adventures to family and friends back home and she’s set. Right? Right??
From the moment she’s forced to make ends meet by accepting a job as a pizza delivery girl chaos becomes a close friend, much to the delight of her growing Facebook followers. As Madeline struggles not to embarrass herself in front of her hot (but taken) neighbour, Kevin, she must survive abusive umbrellas, deliveries to cross-dressing dwarfs, and completely unwarranted FBI questioning. Things move from the crazy to the ridiculous when she accidentally blackmails Kevin’s millionaire girlfriend with photos of her cheating on him.
Does Madeline accept the bribe money she desperately needs or protect her budding relationship with Kevin the hottie?
Written as though you are reading Madeline’s Facebook page, ‘The Grand Adventures of Madeline Cain’ is a modern tale that will leave you in stitches.
OPTION #2: NEW BLURB
NAME: My Life As A Book – Your Invitation NOT To Read This Book
EVENT INVITATION> Suggest your friends [Edit Event]
WHEN: Never. LOCATION: Earth. CREATED BY: Madeline Cain
Dear Potential Reader,
I beg you, for my sanity, please do not read this book. Sure, my life might SEEM interesting, what with the twilight zone chaos I’ve been attracting. But I can assure you, though I may have shared my adventures on Facebook, it doesn’t mean I want the rest of the reading public to know what a screw-up I am. You don’t need to invite this craziness into your life, trust me. This is what you’ll be saving yourself from if you don’t read this book:
- Abusive Umbrellas
- Super Hero Chameleons
- Pizza Deliveries to dwarfs/OCD University Students/’film’ sets.
- FBI questioning for supposed ‘spy photography’
- Photographic blackmail
- A man in a gorilla suit.
Before you ask, no, this is not a fantasy book filled with magic, it’s my life God damn it, and I should be allowed to fail in private! Frankly, this book is a cocktail of funky fruit flavours you just don’t want to drink. Do yourself a favour, don’t press the Buy Now link, or I WILL hunt you down and you’ll never see your favourite e-reader/bookshelf again…
Write something… [Share]
Mike Cain Dear Reading Public, my sister doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Buy and read this book and recommend it to all your friends. If you don’t, I’ll break the Internet. That’s the risk you run by not helping me. Sincerely, Brother Mike. Posted 23 minutes ago [Like. Comment]
Please leave a comment below as to why you chose one over the other (or if you have any other suggestions!)
I put these blurbs together using the method outlined in my workbook ‘How To Write A Killer Blurb’. You can download this workbook for free here.